Cricket 1890

68 CRICKET: A WEEKLY RECORD OF THE GAME. APRIL 24, 1890. TW O BIRDS, ONE STONE. B y A ll i s o n G. O. P a in . The most modest cricketer that I ever knew is my friend and colleague, Augus­ tus Binns, Ducksworth’s successor. He seldom opens his mouth except for the needful purpose of taking nourishment, and when he does talk it is never by any chance about himself. Severe cross-ex- amination has elicited the fact that he used to play for his 'Varsity some years ago, and he owns to having made three centuries in one season, off good bowling. But all this information is yielded, as it were, under protest—as though his cricketing feats were a series of dark crimes which he was anxious to conceal. When he first slouched on to our school ground to practise — with his hands in his pockets and a general air of apology for having been born—the spirits of the boys rose, and they said one to another, “ Happy thought—let’s bowl at his legs.” And they did s o ; and Binns hit three balls out of the ground in the first five minutes. When he had finished his regulation ten minutes he strolled off to take his turn at fielding with the junior members. “ Can’t bowl, evidently,” said the captain, who was rather sore at the un­ ceremonious way in which Binns had punished his bowling. “ Let’s ask him. Take my ball, sir ? ” Binns nodded, removed his hands re­ luctantly from his pockets, and picked up the ball as if it were some uncommon object of the sea-shore—an entire novelty to him—and with his third delivery sent the middle stump flying. The batsman was going to replace it, but Binns, speak­ ing for the first and last time during the game, said “ Leave it,” and in h'lf-a- dozen balls he disposed of the two re­ maining stumps. He said nothing, but he was observed to smile quietly when the third stump fell. When I asked Binns to furnish me with some interesting reminiscences of his career he shook his head and said, “ Afraid they wouldn’t interest much.” “ But you must have seen some curious things,” I objected, “ in the course of twenty years’ cricket.” “ Don’t remember any.” He went on smoking placidly, with his eyes shut and his hands in his pockets as usual. He takes them out at meal-times and also when he is playing cricket. “ Stop, I do remember; I once played in two matches at once. Suppose that’s rather curious.” Here, of course, Binns ought to have added, “ So, if you’ll just light another cigar, and fill up your glass—you’ll find that Madeira about right— I ’ll tell you the whole story.” That’s what they alawys do in “ Christmas numbers ” and such like productions. But he didn’t. In the first place, there were no cigars or Madeira; in the second, he evidently had no intention of telling the story at all unless he were pressed. Fortunately, I made the acquaintance of an old friend C iticK E X E K s.— B e s t < C C R « G o o d s BEAU THIS M A K K .— Advt. of Binns the other day, who knew the story well, and he was able to supple­ ment the meagre outline which was all that I could extract from the hero him­ self. Before Binns came to his present post he taught lor a couple of years in a small privite school in a little village in South- shire. The local club was financially prosperous, but very deficient in the bowling department, and not over-strong in batting. Their record at the end of the season was generally “ lost nine, drawn six, won two,” or something still more unsatisfactory. The year before Binns appeared they hadn't scored a single victory. But as soon as the fame of the new arrival began to spread they promptly elected him a member without entrance fee or subscription, and the tide began to turn. He couldn’t take part in every match, but when he did play Binns and victory seemed to be synonymous. At length the great day of the season arrived on which the village of East Norton played their annual match with the adjacent parish of West Norton. For three years the Westerners had won with ridiculous ease, but now the tables were to be turned. Imagine Binns’s dismay when he learned, only an hour before the commencement of the village match, that the Principal had arranged a match on the school ground with a scratch team, and that he was expected to play. The captain of the school eleven pleaded that they could do very well without Mr. Binns just for this one match, but in vain. Binns himself went so far as to protest that he had promised East Norton, and couldn’t disappoint them. “ You must disappoint them,” said the Principal, affably. Then Binns actually went a step farther. He in­ formed the Principal that his play had attracted some attention, and that if he continued to do well there was a chance that he might be tried for the county later on, when he had completed the necessary two years of residence. And the Principal smiled, and intimated (in effect) that he had bought Mr. Binns, body and soul, for £2 10s. per week, with board and lodging, and that it was a matter of entire and absolute indifference to him whether Mr. Binns played for the county or not, so long as he played for the school when required to do so. So Binns withdrew sadly, and went upstairs to change. There was a tap at the door, and the captain entered. Look here, sir,” he suggested, “ why shouldn’t you play for both—it’s only five minutes from our ground to theirs, and I believe you could manage it if you had a substitute to field. Mr. Villiers (the Principal) doesn’t care a rap about cricket really; he never comes to look at it for more than five minutes at a time. I believe he only got up this match at the last minute just to spite—well, you know what I mean, sir.” After some discussion, Binns decided to chance it. Villiers was a man who held himself aloof from the villagers, and took no part in their affairs. It might, therefore, be months before he learned that Binns had played against West Norton, and by that time it was pretty certain that he would have forgotten all about his prohibition. Both matches were fixed for twelve. The school captain contrived to win the toss, and having learned from one of his scouts that East Norton had done like­ wise, went in first with Binns. The bowling was very loose, to put it mildly, and Binns hit three fours in the first over. Then he remembered that he was expected to go in first wicket down for East Norton, and after one more glorious slog, played back to an over-pitched ball, and contrived to disturb one bail. In two minutes he was on the village ground, just in time to see the fitst “ East ” man come away for a cipher. About the same time that he made his appearance at the wickets Villiers turned up on the school ground, strolled into the tent, read the entry “ A. Binns, h w, b Douglas, 16,” and departed. The school team slogged away merrily, and hit up 120 in an hour and twenty minutes. They had already taken up their places in the field when Binns arrived, hot and breathless. “ How many did you make, sir,” asked the captain, in a low voice. “ Forty-five,” gasped Binns. “ Skied one, and got caught at the wicket.” Then he commenced mowing down the scratch team one after another. Luncheon was fixed for the orthodox hour of two on both grounds. Soon after three nine “ scratch ” wickets had fallen for 50, and it seemed almost certain that they would have to follow their innings, which, of course, would have been rather inconvenient for Binns, as the latest bulletin from the village announced “ last man in.” So he whispered to the captain, and the captain signed to the long-stop, and behold two balls passed him, and went to the boundary for four apiece. Then the captain obligingly provided three wides, bringing the score up to 61, and bowled the last man with the next ball, just as a messenger arrived with the news “ East all out for 143; waiting to begin again.” “ Tell them I ’ll be there directly,” said Binns, and in he went with the captain. He played the first ball with the utmost (apparent) care, sending the wicket­ keeper such an absurdly easy catch that he could not choose but hold it, although he had previously done wonders in the way of missing chances. “ Tea at five, and draw at six, sir,” whispered the captain. “ I think we can play out time -with this bowling.” Then returning to the wickets, he set to work, as he said, to show them over the ground —and occasionally out of it. The first over had already been bowled when Binns re-appeared on the village ground. The score soon rose rapidly, and Binns, finding himself rather out of form, requested to be taken off. In the very next over he caught both the men who had been making the stand, and soon afterwards took another in the same way. Then, feeling a bit rested, he re­ sumed bowling, and this time proved to be dead on the spot. It was nothing but